"Honoring Parents Makes You Wise"
INTRODUCTION
This Proverbs miniseries introduces a biblical view of relationships. We will focus on topics such as the formative power of relationships, the nature of friendship, how parents and children should relate to one another, how husbands and wives should relate to one another, and how we should relate to those in authority over us.
OPENING DISCUSSION
In his book, “The Triumph of the Therapeutic,” Philip Rieff argues that modern society has shifted from a primarily religious culture to a therapeutic one. One evidence of this therapeutic shift is in the way it encourages people to view their parents mainly in terms of the “wounds” they inflicted. Terms like “father wound,” “mother wound,” “childhood trauma,” “attachment style,” and “toxic relationship” are standard vernacular in modern culture. In what ways do you think this therapeutic emphasis has been helpful for children to understand their relationship with their parents? In what ways has it been problematic?
BIG IDEA
While acknowledging the real wounds parents can inflict on their children, Proverbs nevertheless encourages children to default to a posture of honor and gratitude toward their parents. When we heed Proverbs’ wisdom about honoring our pa,rents, we are best positioned to be wise about their good gifts and blind spots—and to become wise ourselves.
OPENING DISCUSSION
In his book, “The Triumph of the Therapeutic,” Philip Rieff argues that modern society has shifted from a primarily religious culture to a therapeutic one. One evidence of this therapeutic shift is in the way it encourages people to view their parents mainly in terms of the “wounds” they inflicted. Terms like “father wound,” “mother wound,” “childhood trauma,” “attachment style,” and “toxic relationship” are standard vernacular in modern culture. In what ways do you think this therapeutic emphasis has been helpful for children to understand their relationship with their parents? In what ways has it been problematic?
BIG IDEA
While acknowledging the real wounds parents can inflict on their children, Proverbs nevertheless encourages children to default to a posture of honor and gratitude toward their parents. When we heed Proverbs’ wisdom about honoring our pa,rents, we are best positioned to be wise about their good gifts and blind spots—and to become wise ourselves.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Read Proverbs 1:8-9. This Proverb, echoing the fifth commandment, is a call for children to obey their parents (cf. Ex 20:12). The apostle Paul repeats this command when he says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Eph 6:1), and "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord" (Col 3:20).
Read Proverbs 10:1 and 23:24-25. While honoring our parents entails obeying them (especially when we are minors), it also brings them joy.
Read 1 Timothy 5:4. Building off the wisdom of Proverbs, the Apostle Paul calls upon children to care for their aging parents physically and financially. He notes three things about such care: (1) It is godly, (2) it is a form of rightful repayment for all that their parents have invested in them, and (3) it pleases God.
- Why do you think God is so adamant about children obeying their parents? Why does it please him so much?
- Can you think of a time when you strayed from the instruction of your parents and suffered for it?
- This Proverb says our parents’ instructions are a graceful garland on our head (an ancient symbol of victory) and a pendant around our neck (an ancient symbol of wealth). What insight about obedience do these images reveal? How might this imagery help reshape a child’s perception of obedience to their parents?
Read Proverbs 10:1 and 23:24-25. While honoring our parents entails obeying them (especially when we are minors), it also brings them joy.
- How do these Proverbs call us to bring joy to our parents?
- As adults who are no longer under the authority of our parents, honoring them does not always mean doing what they want us to do. However, this Proverb invites us to consider how we might proactively bring joy to our parents as an act of love and honor. What are some things you could do in the immediate future to bring joy to your parents?
Read 1 Timothy 5:4. Building off the wisdom of Proverbs, the Apostle Paul calls upon children to care for their aging parents physically and financially. He notes three things about such care: (1) It is godly, (2) it is a form of rightful repayment for all that their parents have invested in them, and (3) it pleases God.
- What do you think about the idea that it is your duty to care for your parents when they are old?
- Have any of you, or are you currently, caring for an aging parent? What has that been like? How has that matured you as a disciple of Jesus?
- How do you think caring for aging parents mirrors the gospel?